all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
