I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had to cum in my sink.
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