I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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