HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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