Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
