I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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