Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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