she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Boobs are out for the taking
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
