I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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