i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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