how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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