Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
