Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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