Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
