I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
