Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
