I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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