i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
