My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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