can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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