i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
