I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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