I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
