I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
