I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize