dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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