I'm so fucking centered right now
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
