she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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