Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
