Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
