dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
