i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if only i could text you this smell
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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