and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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