I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
