I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i believe in u and ur pee
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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