my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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