so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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