When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
