Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She needs sedatives and a leash
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
