ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
