Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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