yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
