would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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