I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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