How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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