Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
