i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
