I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
