i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
