I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
