Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
