Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.