her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
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He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze