On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.