He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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