he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
