laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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