So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
