Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
