I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
