One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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