Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
