After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
