so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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